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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25845271">He wanted this</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbbaTriesToWrite/pseuds/EbbaTriesToWrite'>EbbaTriesToWrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Goodbyes, M/M, One Shot, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:08:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25845271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbbaTriesToWrite/pseuds/EbbaTriesToWrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Amore?” Joe nearly drops his phone at Nicky’s voice and he snaps his eyes open, not even having realised he’d closed them, “Who are you talking to?”</p>
<p>“Booker.” Nicky frowns at that but comes closer, placing a warm hand on his shoulder, “Booker, you still there?” </p>
<p><em>“Huh?”</em> he sounds out of it, <em>“Yeah.”</em></p>
<p>“Nicky’s here too.” he tells him before turning on the speaker, “We’ll be here till the end.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Lykon/Quynh | Noriko, Booker | Sebastien le Livre &amp; Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>320</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>He wanted this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Joe wakes to a phone ringing. Nicky stirs next to him and he rubs his back soothingly until he falls back into that deep comfortable sleep again before untangling himself from his lover. He goes to reach for his phone on the bedside table but realises it’s not lit up like it should be if it was ringing and through his still sleep addled mind he realises the sound is coming from further away, muffled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their door is cracked open ever so slightly and the sliver of light peeking in is enough for him to navigate the small room he and Nicky had taken for themselves. He finds the source of the sound at the bottom of one of their duffle bags, he isn’t sure if it’s his or Nicky’s but things like that have long since stopped mattering. The phone isn’t ringing once he pulls it out and he frowns at the unknown number and he’s still too tired to figure out what the country the dialing code comes from. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Just as he’s about to throw the phone back in the bag and chalk it up to someone calling a wrong number it lights up. The same number again. Nicky whines and Joe hushes him before slinking out the door and answers the call. The living room is empty and Joe hopes the girls are finally getting some sleep. They’d all gotten a bit banged up on the last job, which is what had landed them here in Oslo. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” his voice is rough from sleep and he clears his throat briefly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nicky?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that, Joe is fully awake. He’d recognize that voice anywhere and heat floods his veins up in rage. It’s only been a year into exile and Booker’s already broken it twice - though bringing Quynh back to them might be allowed to give him a pass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not Nicky then.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker lets out a breathless laugh but it doesn’t sound amused in the slightest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m hanging up.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>it’s only the desperate tone of his voice that makes Joe push the phone back to his ear, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I need to warn you.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?” he says calmly despite the flicker of worry he feels igniting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Someone must have found Merrick’s research,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker is breathing heavily on the other side of the line but the mention of Merrick makes the anger coiling in his gut tenfold, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“they’ve found a way to hurt us, I don’t know how but you need to be careful.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for you.” he practically growls and unconsciously he steals a glance back towards the bedroom, reminding himself that Nicky is safely sleeping in there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker says weakly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“And I’m sorry but you need to be careful. They’re called SMtech, they’ve made weapons, we can’t heal from the wounds they cause.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you even know about this?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“They needed a test subject.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you fucking serious?” he can’t believe this, has Booker really learnt nothing? Is he really still so desperate? Joe frowns at the spike of sadness that goes through him at the thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You probably don’t believe me,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker coughs, a wet sound to it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“but I didn’t go willingly.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Booker-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just be careful, yeah? I’ve already sent all the intel I could gather to Copley.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you hurt?” he should have asked earlier, he realises, and the only response he gets is to hear Booker devolve into a coughing fit, “Sebastien, are you hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>his breathing is ragged but he sounds happy for once, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he repeats.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you?” </span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Berlin.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me an address and we’ll be there by evening. I’ll book a flight and tell the oth-” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Joe,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker interrupts, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’ll be too late by then, just keep each other safe.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No. This can’t be right. This can’t be it. They were going to see each other in 98 years and 7 months and things would be better by then. They would all have had time to heal and reunite stronger than before. Booker should have much more time, he was still so new after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Amore?” Joe nearly drops his phone at Nicky’s voice and he snaps his eyes open, not even having realised he’d closed them, “Who are you talking to?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Booker.” Nicky frowns at that but comes closer, placing a warm hand on his shoulder, “Booker, you still there?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Huh?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he sounds out of it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nicky’s here too.” he tells him before turning on the speaker, “We’ll be here till the end.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nicky’s grip tightens and the look in his eyes tell him that he understands and Joe silently hands the phone over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Book,” Nicky says, tone not giving away any of the sadness Joe knows he’s feeling, “how’ve you been?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I quit drinking.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>his voice is so weak and Joe feels his eyes water, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Tried to be better y’know.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s great.” Nicky nods his head toward the hall, a silent command.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joe silently slips away, knocks on Nile’s door and then Andy and Quynh’s. They look at him weirdly as they rise, putting away the weapons they’d had at the ready from being woken up unexpectedly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Booker’s dying.” he says simply, Nile gasps, hand coming up to cover her mouth and Quynh instantly wraps an arm around Andy. She doesn’t say anything but Joe can still hear the questions running through her mind, “He’s on the phone. He shouldn’t be alone.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He shouldn’t have been alone -</span>
  </em>
  <span> his mind unhelpfully adds but he pushes the thought down. He’ll deal with that later.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“-you kept tricking me,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker is laughing weakly over the speaker when they finally gather up in the living room, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“made me believe a bunch of made up stories.” </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You were so gullible.” Nicky laughs, tears in his eyes, and Joe sinks down on the seat next to him, pulling him close, “The others are here too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Book.” Nile’s voice cracks but no one pays it any mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Been awhile.” Quynh says casually.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here too.” Andy’s voice is strong as ever but Joe can see her resolve breaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Booker stops laughing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I just needed to warn you, there-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll tell them later Booker.” Joe interrupts, not wanting to waste time, “I just wanted you to know that we’re all here.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joe wishes he could be there in person, he just wants to hold him one last time, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s the noise of a phone clattering to the ground and Joe feels like all the air drains out of the room at the implication. Nile calls out Booker’s name, as does Andy but Nicky just leans more into Joe’s side. For a moment he thinks it’s because he needs the support but he realises, as Nicky wraps his arms around his middle, that Joe is the one being held together right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did he say where he was?” Quynh asks, one hand holding Nile’s and the other rubbing Andy’s arm comfortingly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Berlin.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a quick call to Copley they gather up their things and head to the airport. Joe tells the others what Booker had told him and after that they all fall silent. There’s nothing to say anyways. They’ll figure out how to deal with the threat later, none of them are quite ready for it just yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t surprise Joe in the slightest that the address they’d gotten from Copley leads to some dingy apartment buildings. As they climb the stairs Joe feels a lump form in his stomach and when Nicky offers his hand he desperately takes it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Andy goes first, like always, gun at the ready as the others trail in behind her. As expected, there’s no ambush but they still let out a collective sigh of relief. But it’s not a full exhale, because they know that this isn’t the end of it. They walk further into the apartment and when Andy opens the bedroom door she freezes for a split second before rushing in, the others right behind her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There he is, slumped over on the ground, blood drying over the front of his shirt and soaking the floorboards beneath him. It’d be a gruesome sight if it was anyone else that found him but they’re used to this and way worse. But it still makes Joe feel sick and he takes a hesitant step forward, unconsciously pulling Nicky with him, and they kneel beside Andy who’s looking for a pulse despite the fact that Booker’s lips are already blue. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He wanted this.” Quynh said softly and they looked back at her, she was leaning against the wall, the one least affected by this, “He didn’t go to a hospital, instead he came here, sent the intel to Copley.” she gestures to the laptop that’s smashed to bits on the floor next to them, “He wanted out. And he wanted you safe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joe wanted to get angry at her but he couldn’t find it in him. He glanced back down at Booker’s still face and felt his heart break a little at how at peace he looked. He never once looked like this while awake and even less so when asleep. He truly had been suffering this whole time, huh?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Rest well, brother.” Joe whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to his temple.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please let me know what you think! </p>
<p>Also! Pls come talk to me on Tumblr (I need friends):<br/><a href="https://ebbatriestowrite.tumblr.com/">EbbaTriesToWrite</a><br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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